Here comes the point where I want to give up.
One year into my two-year commitment to Teach for America I was hours away from quitting. Two years into my four-years at Furman I wanted to transfer. Six miles into my half-marathon training?
This is where it gets hard.
Excuses and lies begin making their regular appearance at about the halfway point. You can’t do this, is the most common lie. You don’t have to do this, that’s my favorite excuse. As my feet trudge along and muscles begin to cramp, I start to question why I even started this journey in the first place. What’s the point, if it’s going to hurt?
I’m struggling to run six miles. I can run five with no problem. Mentally, something is keeping me from that six mile marker.
And it’s amazing how this kind of thinking can bleed into all parts of life. I can’t begins to rule. But I don’t want it to. I want to do the things I set out to do. I want to believe in the strength and peace that I’ve been given.
Today, I don’t have the answer. Today, I don’t have the “Ah ha!” moment that helps me understand my own idiosyncrasies and mental blocks that are keeping me from running six miles without stopping. Today, I don’t have any profound wisdom to share. But I’m praying for it.
(Photo from FFFFound)